Online dating email banter


15-Jun-2020 07:56

You set up a profile, pick some cute photos, write something witty about the things that you love (Beyonce, Hillary Clinton, Battlestar Galactica), list some books you like, and then sit back, kick your feet up, and wait for the messages to roll in.

With those, you will send a few messages back and forth before he invites you for a drink.

Teasing, ginger jokes and unfortunately even outright bullying are too commonplace.

An ability to laugh at oneself is very important (and redheads usually have a great sense of humour), but at the same time there should be a balance of positive publicity towards redheads that will cancel out the nastiness aimed at us by the ignorant few.

There’s nothing wrong with looking for a little naked fun, but keep in mind that your co-workers, neighbors and acquaintances also have access to the internet.

And seriously consider whether you want to publicize your wheelchair fetish, your juggalo ex-boyfriend or the crimes you regularly commit.

Too-soon too-intense over-sharing honesty (you’re experimenting with a new anti-depressant and it’s not going so well; your last breakup was devastating and now you hate all men and can’t have sex without bursting into tears; you sometimes find yourself sexually aroused by water buffalo) is not.

And while online dating can be a great way to meet folks who share your particular sexual preferences or fetishes, tread carefully and remember that your actual face is attached to the information you’re putting up.

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We also encourage good chat and banter on our busy Facebook page.

But only one of those things should be listed on your internet dating profile.

A bit of humorous honesty (you’re a literary snob who secretly liked the Twilight series; you’re a food blogger who once ate dog food as a kid) is a plus.

I spend lots of time in this column and over at A(n)nals of Online Dating documenting the worst of the worst internet daters. But there are also some really good ones — and some mediocre ones that could be so much better if not for rookie mistakes.

So, welcome to Internet Dating Bootcamp, where I'll teach you how to trick unsuspecting users into thinking you’re actually cool and normal. You need to be you in your online dating profile, but the process of creating one is a good time to think about what kindergarten teachers call “being your best self at school.” If you’re attracted to Type-A go-getter types who get up at 6am to exercise, emphasize your similar love of hard work. Want someone who shares your taste for obscure French films? No, not everyone wants to date a carbon copy of themselves, but most of us want to be with someone with some overlapping interests.

That photo where your skin looks all glowy and you can’t see your cankles? But the photo from 6 years, 25 pounds and two high-stress jobs ago?