Dating advice just
“One of the things Trish and I talk about a lot with each other [is] the goal to connect with others without expectations,” says Nobile.
“There are so many scenarios in life where you’re trying to get something or the other person is trying to get something from you.
But when you really look through life with that lense everything shifts a little bit” When you stop expecting to find a white knight and instead hope for a night of good conversation and the chance to be yourself, Nobile says, “That’s when the magic happens.
That’s when we all make connections that lead to amazing things.” If you’re just digging in to online dating, make sure and follow these tips for how to stay sane.
“We talked to one mom who said, ‘We had a book club and we tossed the books out and talked about how the heck we’re supposed to get back into dating now and how to support each other.’” There’s no one-size-fits-all advice when it comes to mid-life dating, but Nobile and Ashworth have dedicated a whole chapter of their book to the topic of relationships (“Is This Really the Only Husband I’m Ever Gonna Have?”Truth be told, While I found my friend beautiful, likable, and funny I wasn’t romantically attracted to her in the slightest.It ended up confusing her because I always wanted to hang out, yet she also had romantic feelings.“Really ask yourself some tough questions about what worked for you in this marriage, what did you bring to the table that didn’t work, [and] what would you like to work on before you get into another relationship,” she says.
“Once you feel like you’re working on that—whether it’s through therapy or whether it’s talking through it with a friend or really just thinking about it—then move on to the next exercise of who it is you really want to go after.” And how do you figure that out, exactly?On a second piece of paper, write down the qualities of someone (be it your best friend, your sibling, a co-worker—it doesn’t have to be a romantic partner) who brings you complete joy.