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19-Jan-2020 06:50

After trying some new arrangements—only together, only at sex parties, DADT—he realized he wasn't comfortable with any situation.He told our therapist that every time I hooked up with someone, he was retraumatized because it reminded him of the time I broke up with him for six months 20 years ago.So long as those desires are consciously eroticized, fully compartmentalized, and safely expressed, you could have done everything you wanted, ASSHOLE, without harming anyone. It seems like you want out, and your wife definitely deserves better, so cop to one affair, since copping to all of them would crush her—or so you think. I made an open relationship a requirement at the start.

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During therapy, my husband revealed that he was never in favor of the openness.

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On the other hand, I have been deceitful and manipulative for almost my entire adult life. Part of my motivation for writing is that I am particularly attached to the woman I'm having an affair with now, and both of us fantasize about being together openly. And these women didn't "turn into" one-year, three-year, seven-month, and four-months-and-counting affairs on their own.

On the one hand, I do not regret my time with any of these women. We are also very socially and financially entangled. And if so, I need help considering an exit strategy. It doesn't "just keep happening," ASSHOLE, you keep doing it.

You're a handsome couple—thanks for enclosing the lovely picture (sometimes it's nice to see the face of the person I'm responding to!