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Many of the things I’ve seen and read on interracial dating have emphasized the idea that black women are starting to date interracially because there aren’t enough high-achieving, commitment-minded black men to go around.I don’t want to be anyone’s backup plan, and I certainly don’t want to find out 5 years into a relationship that my girlfriend shot for Blair Underwood and settled for to be with white men, or are we just the backup plan when they can’t find a marriageable black man? It’s better to admit the truth than to have a bunch of unhappy people foundering in relationships of convenience.They’re seeing women who look just like them happily dating and married to non-black men, and this at first causes cognitive dissonance, and then curiosity, and then excitement to learn that the very men whom they were taught were off limits are a viable dating option for them.As a woman married 12 years to a Slavic/German man just like yourself, I have to be honest, I thought at one point my husband would be black.
It’s important in the case of non-black men dating black women to understand the historical context and barriers that lead you to ask this question.Not because I applied some magical thinking to the black phallus, just because I was basically taught that it was the thing to do.But after dating and subsequently marrying my husband, I can say with certainty that if my husband would be run over by a truck tomorrow, I know my first preference would be a man that looked (and acted) similar to my hubby.I get the sneaking feeling that they would be happier with a black man.
One woman I dated even went so far as to admit that, “Of course everyone would like to be with someone of their own race,” oddly overlooking the fact that I was dating interracially by choice.
Literally from birth, many black women are told that only black men will love them, because their dark skin and kinky hair is unpalatable to men outside the black community.