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“Then, the minute there’s some kind of falter in the fantasy of who that person is, they devalue them—almost knocking their knees out from under them—and then discard them.”“That’s a way that narcissists stay safe,” she says.“They’ll say, ‘You’re amazing…but if you stop being amazing for whatever reason, you’re no longer someone that I want to align my star with.Secure attachment, on the other hand, diminishes negative feelings.“While the authors [of the study] recognise that infatuation is associated with a higher level of arousal and euphoria, it is apparently a double-edged sword,” Dr Patrick notes. The trick is staying in touch with your own feelings.Interestingly, every one of those responses came from women.Perhaps that shouldn’t be surprising; according to one scientific review,“I think, a lot of times, people consider narcissism to include a lot of grandiosity, and a lack of shame or remorse or empathy, and all of those are certain key components of narcissism,” says Kate Balestrieri, Psy D, a licensed psychologist and co-founder of In other words, while we might think of narcissists as self-centered jerks, they’re operating as a result of deep-seated insecurities.Those insecurities often show up in the narcissist’s social behaviors.“They’re very quick to align themselves with organizations [or] people that would be high in status—the best of the best,” Balestrieri says. …If my ego is fragile, I need a lot of other opinions to bolster my sense of self, so underneath all of that grandiosity is a pretty low and fractured sense of self-worth.
“If you are overly apprehensive every time you get together with your new paramour, it might be a sign that although he or she might be a great person, perhaps not the best fit for you,” Dr Wendy L Patrick wrote in a blog post Psychology Today.
“Whether it is a dangerous sport, a speaking engagement, or a leadership role that requires taking on heavy responsibility, we are unable (and ultimately unwilling) to remain in a state of heightened anxiety and mental distress.” Of course, wanting to make a good impression on your partner is no bad thing, but you shouldn’t be feeling on edge.